nobody's fault but mine

  • Nov. 29th, 2011 at 12:27 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
Musts:
- finish baby pictures WIP
- Big Bang claims (Dec. 10)
- illustration for December issue of [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu (Dec. 17)
- [livejournal.com profile] dream_holiday triptych (Dec. 19)
- [livejournal.com profile] insearchtion (Dec. 26-Jan. 6)
- illustrations for [livejournal.com profile] sho_no_tabi's Big Bang (post-January 27)
- illustrations for someone's Big Bang (post-January 27)

Wants:
- Hunger Games fanart
- Cantos, City of Bells concept art
- medical cryo-casket concept art

I read this out to Husband and his response was '...and a new boyfriend!'

oh god, what am I going to do with myself

Oh and also I got a new haircut and I think it's pretty rad:

notes from the outback

  • Aug. 14th, 2011 at 10:37 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
I wrote a thing on [livejournal.com profile] butterflythread's Opposite Day Meme! It's something that I've had kicking around in my head for a while, but never actually sat down to put into words. I like writing! I also super hate it, ugh, it's so stressful, how do you writers do it?!

I haven't posted anything personal in a while, so sorry for that! The truth is, I haven't been doing anything interesting lately. I've been spending my time doing art for [livejournal.com profile] ladysisyphus's upcoming Shousetsu Bang Bang -- I'm really psyched for one of them, as my friends have no doubt realized as I am SHOWING IT OFF TO EVERYONE. And I've also started one for [livejournal.com profile] jibrailis, so come August 22 I'll have three pictures to post, hurrah.

I've also picked up an illustration for the [livejournal.com profile] cap_ironman Big Bang, which I have dubbed SUDDENLY PARENTS. No inroads on that one yet. And then of course my Big Bang with [livejournal.com profile] sho_no_tabi and also I signed up to claim a story as well, because I apparently just cant get enough.

In between arts I have been completely failing to go out and enjoy the summer -- I have this thing where, during the summer, I am perfectly happy to sit inside in the dark, and by the time October rolls around I am SUPER UPSET WITH MYSELF that I wasted the summer away, even though it was a conscious choice at the time. Though, this week I did get up to Cultus Lake (hi Cathy!) with my family. It was the first time I'd been to the lake, and the water was great except for that everyone got swimmer's itch, and I saw a bald eagle catch a fish and take it up to its nest and that was pretty amazing, and I ate a lot of marshmallows and generally had a good time.

Confidential to people who gave me their addresses for postcards: the images are at the printers and I should be getting those out shortly! Thanks for your patience. <3

quarter century party post

  • Jun. 9th, 2011 at 10:24 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
Things that happened on June 10:

1801 - The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the USA.
1916 - Mecca, under control of the Turks, fell to the Arabs during the Great Arab Revolt.
1924 - The Italian socialist leader Giacomo Matteotti was kidnapped and murdered by Fascists in Rome.
1935 - Alcoholic Anonymous was founded by William G. Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith.
1943 - Laszlo Biro patented his ballpoint pen. Biro was a Hungarian journalist.

... and in 1986, twenty-five years ago, I was born! And today I am older than I have ever been.


I've always been a little ambivalent about birthdays -- look at me, I'm adhering to a socially and governmentally mandated measure of experience arbitrarily based on chronological time, oooh! -- and, as a fact, I consistently forget how old I am, and who does that, really.

Anyway, it's already been established that I have this weird Thing about Time where I don't talk about it and it promises not change events in my life in ways so subtle I'd never know the difference, so let's move on. Yes!

I have today off work, but no one else does, so after my parents take me out for lunch I fully intend to spend the day drinking (nakedly), drawing (nakedly), watching a fuckton of The West Wing (nakedly), getting my feet rubbed by anyone who comes close enough (probably not nakedly), and drunkenly trolling people on the internet (probably nakedly again). I would be much obliged if you were to join me in internet frivolity by posting amazing things. Or any things, really. I am incredibly easy. You can be naked too, if you want.

disjointed notes from today

  • May. 18th, 2011 at 6:06 PM
neomeruru: (you should have seen me reading dunhill)
So I have no art to give, because I am burnt out like whoa. I finished the [livejournal.com profile] help_japan auction art for [livejournal.com profile] mandyloo, and I can post that when I get a response back from her. I quite like it; it's a good likeness of Colin and Bradley, and the background was completely painted. I love painting backgrounds now; I've done it for three pieces now, and it's so nice and easy. But, yes, burn out, and I'll be bowing out of that commission for my waxer because nothing is %*#$ going right on that one and sometimes it's just easier to cut ones losses and move on.

[livejournal.com profile] platina mentioned the other night on her Livestream that she uses a standard round brush at 20% flow, which is interesting, because so far I've been using a standard round at 50% opacity instead. The difference is incredibly marked, and holy hell, does it make sketching so much easier. I'm really excited at this development and thankful she shared the secret. :)

I took a mental health day today because everyone needs a day to lock themselves in their rooms and eat chocolate and burn incense and generally dislike people for a while, so that's what I did today. My day also included L.A. Noire, which I picked up this morning. It has been getting very high reviews, and so far it is a very solid game. It takes the driving/side quest parts from Grand Theft Auto, the fighting/events from Heavy Rain, and the investigations/interrogations from Phoenix Wright. It's also triggering my immense capability to fuck around on side quests before progressing story quests (see also: Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas, any western RPG ever made...) which is making it come across as repetitive; this is exacerbated by the obvious burden of so many unlockable outfits, locations, and cars, as well as achievements, at the expense of so few story missions. I find myself doing a lot of driving, which is my least favorite part. You can make your partner drive, but you don't get sidequests, and that makes me itch.

There's a hockey game on tonight and I will be cheering my hardest from my office chair while working on this cross-stitch, which is so close to being done I can almost taste it, and then watching West Wing because it has worked its way under my skin with its exceptional writing and acting. [livejournal.com profile] kindelingboy, I never doubted you and your recommendations to watch it, but holy crap. What a good call on this one.
neomeruru: (Default)
(entry subject from running my journal through the mangler)

+ finished moving the furniture over to the new place
+ yay house!
- furnace is very loud, so loud, omg
+ landlords actually bought electric heaters so they'll use the furnace less at night
- basement suite is cold now
+ cuddling on the couch with blankets
+ quiet is better than warm
++ finally a good night's sleep last night
? cat has remembered he likes to sleep on my pillow while I am using it
+ i has a moneys now, thank god
--- my ailing aunt had a stroke last night and only has a few more days
- so much cleaning to do at the old place
+ our bathroom is so shiny and big, yay
+ my help_japan auction is up to $35
+ super secret job opportunity goes live for apps next week
- had my first anxiety dream about my sister's wedding, what the hell!
+ probably selling my car finally, so yay more cash
+ looks like a sizeable tax return this year, mmmmyeah.

moving AGAIN

  • Mar. 6th, 2011 at 10:42 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
Guuuuuarrrrrgh, I know I haven't been posting much this week, and it's because we have been painting the new place and it's eaten up all of my time. I tend to not think in fully-formed blog posts anymore, and everything is just these kind of short snippets of thought, and they don't seem useful to just throw up into my journal here, so... yeah. Words are hard, dog. And without the time to make the disparate thoughts into one big thought, journalling doesn't happen.

Husband has been a very good fandom surrogate, though. Already he has given me the go-ahead to do a Cribs episode with the new place, so maybe in a few weeks you'll all be lucky enough to catch the elusive [livejournal.com profile] neomeruru on video. And he wants me to draw Eames assembling an ARTHÜR, in deference to the eXtreme IKEA assembling party we are going to need to have to get all of our shit together. He comes up with these things. I just make them happen.

(example of a random disparate thought: I like it when people shorten my handle to Neom, not Neo, because the latter is too much like I'm trying to be the Matrix, and the former makes it sound like I'm going really fast. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOM. That's my onomatopoeia for going really fast. But Neom looks silly, which is why I've been more casual about signing my real name to things. The more you know.)

In my very rare downtime, I have been watching Misfits. And, omg, so good. So good. The acting and the writing is amazing, and despite one of them being able to rewind time and one character coming back through time, which everyone knows feeds my irrational fear of alternate universes, I am really really really enjoying it.

i had an exciting day

  • Feb. 20th, 2011 at 9:45 PM
neomeruru: (praise the lord)
So in exciting news, my oldest sister got engaged today! They've been dating for something like four years now and the family adores him, so really it was just a matter of time.

Husband and I are constantly joking that I am the youngest in my generation by like eight years, and yet the third of six to be married. We jumped quite a few of my older siblings. But now with her engaged, the race is on again to pull ahead in Important Life Milestones. Welp, good thing we already had the family planning conversation! >D

Oh fuck, I will probably be the matron of honour, won't I? Aw, man, I finally recovered from the stress of planning my own wedding.

In other news, [livejournal.com profile] somnacin_addict and [livejournal.com profile] ilovetakahana were the two "lucky" authors to claim my [livejournal.com profile] i_reversebang pieces! Looking forward to working with you, guys. And, other authors, if you wanted to claim my pieces but you didn't get there in time, keep in mind that I will still flail all over you if you happen to, say, write something with the same themes on your own... just saying... I will be there...

And in OTHER other news, the latest issue of [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu is up, and it is the steampunk issue. I don't have anything in this issue because I artfail this month, but I will devour all this original queer fiction all the same.

(Being involved with [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu has kind of been a godsend, even if I've only been in it once; it has given me something to talk about other than embarrassing fanart when people ask me what I draw. Illustrating for an original queer fiction anthology sounds so much classier than drawing fanart for a movie that's been out for seven months.)

some CMT stuff

  • Feb. 19th, 2011 at 3:59 PM
neomeruru: (more dots now)
The [livejournal.com profile] i_reversebang claims post is up, and claiming begins tomorrow at noon! I am seriously ridic excited for this; it's been all I could think about since finishing my BB art last week. Sometimes I feel like my art is instantly recognizable, and sometimes I feel like I'm still in that weird chameleon phase where it could go either way. Regardless, if you have joined the community you can see the post, and I wonder if you can tell which ones are mine. :)

I fell on the way to work again yesterday, and I buggered my hip again. So I'm sitting here with an icepack on my bum, getting ready to draw some gay steampunk porn for [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu. I know the due date is today, but, you know, I had a busy last few weeks, okay!

I also said I owed y'all a post about my neuro visit! )

hitRECord musings

  • Feb. 18th, 2011 at 10:45 AM
neomeruru: (don&#39;t give a shit)
So people have been talking about JGL's cover of Midnight Radio. Now, while I'm a big fan of JGL both aesthetically and professionally, and I love that he's so crazily confident so mad props for anything he does, I've been a little ambivalent about his actual singing voice. Imagine my surprise when, halfway through the song, I realized I'd entirely stopped what I was doing and was just listening, tears streaming down my face. So thanks, Joe, I guess I really needed a cry. There was a lot of stress in there.

And yeah, I swear I was thinking about this BEFORE his voice made me cry actual tears (like a crazy!stan, jesus), do you guys think it would be kosher if I submitted my less Inception-y Inception art to hitRECord?

(background for people who don't eat, sleep, breathe art: hitRECord is JGL's collaborative production company project where artists of all kinds submit their drawings, music, movies, spoken word, whatever, and the community 'remixes' it and creates new things, and when an amazing thing arises from the collaborative soup, he uses his media cred to monetize it.)

I mean, here's the thing. You can't submit fanart because you need to 100% own what you create; hitRECord is completely legit and needs to comply with crazy archaic copyright laws and all. But, my stuff's not so amazing that it would be entirely obvious that it's fanart. Like these (BB illos) and this (Triage) and this (Glitch). With, you know, maybe a hair colour change along the way or something.

I want to work on more original art but, so far, my big Renaissance has been for the most part Inception art. And I want to join hitRECord but I don't really have anything to show for myself yet. And also part of me is like, Lindsay, don't be crazy, no one would want to remix your stuff; anime (which you do not draw, but that's what people see) is totally last year and you don't draw nearly enough birds on branches and twee little sparrows.

(can I mention how conflicted I am at the current wave of popular things? Because I love birds on branches and tree silhouettes and darling little hippie patterns, but they ARE SO VERY TWEE right now I can't even stand it, have you been to an IKEA lately. hipster rant over.)

(also, ffs people, I do not draw anime and I will cut you.)

Okay yeah, as well, I owe you guys a post about electrocution and I will do that later, but now I am at work and need to Do All The Things.

images! IMAGES!

  • Feb. 11th, 2011 at 10:41 AM
neomeruru: (Default)
Huh, I thought I grew out of my slash-on-sight reflex. Guess I was wrong! Am I the only person in existence who is now slashing Magneto and Xavier? Or have I just joined a secret society of (gag) X-Man slashers?

They are sitting on a crushed red velvet bed together, guys. Even when there's the prospect of a freaky fly-girl strip tease, that's skirting a homo experience. And there are Significant Looks, you guys. With this and The Eagle, I am already seeing this a good year for deviant slash writers.

Also, gratuitous face post, because today I realized that I looked like Justin Bieber before it was cool:



Also, I was telling [livejournal.com profile] photoclerk about my Angry Kirby Face, and she begged for photos, so here! Have my Angry Kirby Face, captured in its glory yesterday morning because I had dreamed that I'd finished a drawing and woke up to find that I hadn't:



These photos also display two of my favorite things in the world: Bear Hat and Monkey Robe. Yes, they get capitals, because they are proper nouns in our household. This morning I caught Husband calling out 'beaaaar haaaaat~' while we were looking for it, like it was a family pet. And Monkey Robe is very dear to me.

I apologize for the double chin and bleary eyes, okay. Both photos were taken at times that seem kind of early in the morning for me. NEVER MIND THAT ONE WAS TAKEN AFTER 11AM, okay, I stay up until 3AM on art nights, give me a break. :D

("Fuck you, I'm naturally adorable!" :D)

AND A BIG HELLO to anyone who is here from the Inception Friending Meme! I hope you like it here. I have an intro post in my journal where you can read all about me. :)

house get

  • Feb. 6th, 2011 at 1:04 AM
neomeruru: (Default)
The universe, much like World of Warcraft, seems to operate with the understanding that if someone really wants something, they'll complain about it a lot. So you should just give it to them, yeah? That's some The Secret level bullshit right there, I know, but isn't it neat sometimes how you can sometimes get what you want?

What I mean is, after like the shortest house-hunt ever, today we signed the papers on our new house. And by house, I mean basement suite. And by basement, I mean holy crap, there are huge fucking windows in every single room. And also, holy crap, there are three bedrooms, I do not even know what to do with a third bedroom.

(btw: the next person in my family who says that it's the baby's room will see me rip out my own uterus and eat it. me gusta.)

I am equal parts yaaaaaaaaaaay and oooooooh my god, because now we have like one more rent-free month and not nearly enough in savings, and I really wish this art thing was lucrative instead of exhausting and mortifying in polite company. But! You know, now I get to PAINT. PAINT ALL THE THINGS. Give me your favorite room colour schemes, guys, because I have three rooms and complete creative control.

PICKCHARS AND MAPS YAY )

Jan. 31st, 2011

  • 1:21 PM
neomeruru: (more dots now)
What happens when you take me somewhere I can draw on the table:





Crayons, dawg. They're serious business.

life after marriage

  • Jan. 23rd, 2011 at 2:23 AM
neomeruru: (hate and love)
So there are a lot of great things about being married, but by far the largest perk is the knowledge that I will never, ever have to explain my intimate neuroses with another person. Things like:

  • I need to sleep with my feet uncovered, with my blankets bunched up under my knees.

  • Given the slightest chance, I will go fully nocturnal.

  • I never, ever finish a meal. I tell people I'm leaving some for my fairy, but really it's because eating makes me feel sick. I always take food home from restaurants.

  • I need to be able to look at my feet when I'm walking. If I'm carrying something that obscures my feet or if the lights go out, I can't move. This goes double for stairs.

  • I am absolutely terrified of falling down the stairs and will always, always seek out the handrail.

  • I always sit facing the door in restaurants. I don't even know why I do this.

  • I have a completely irrational fear of time travel and alternate universes where only small details have changed.

  • I will find every opportunity to NOT use the phone.

  • When I look my most composed, I am actually my most terrified.

  • I do not bargain sex, even in jest. There is no quid pro quo, even if I love the person and would totally be all over that with clear and enthusiastic consent otherwise. Even joking about it sets my I-will-have-sex-with-you meter down to zero.

  • If I say I love something, wait five minutes. If I still love it in five minutes, I will love it forever. Chances are that I won't, though.

  • I will seek out a horizontal surface at any given opportunity. I'll lean on any available vertical surface if I have to.

  • Sitting in a chair? Feet go up. No exceptions, even if it's just a little bit under the table.

  • I hate apologies. If I'm angry, the best course of action is keep your mouth shut until my internal narrative forgives you.

  • The easiest way to my heart is flattery. The second easiest is kindness in the face of my sometimes unbearable cruelty. Husband went for Option 2, bless his soul.


I mean, I can let someone else into all of my secrets, if I want, but the crushing weight of oh god, this person should really know everything about me in case they're The One is gone. Someone already knows the exact way I like my tea, and I never have to teach anyone about my mundane details ever again.

And dating? Dating is not so terrible when everyone knows that it's not just an elaborate mating ritual. Taking away the are you The One? dance makes it bearable. Fun, even!

Jan. 20th, 2011

  • 1:30 AM
neomeruru: (Default)
Hey writers, this is where I read your work. Even the porny stuff, because what the hell else am I going to do on the train? Talk to people?

About 85% of that is my morning commute, and I do the whole route on my evening commute. It's about 40 minutes real-time, each way. Plus, also, the 40 minutes by car it takes to get to the train, and the 10 minute walk when I get to work. Man, seriously, I need a new place to live.

I guess what I'm saying is, I need fic to live.

i am okay.

  • Jan. 10th, 2011 at 11:02 PM
neomeruru: (you should have seen me reading dunhill)
Thanks for all the support on that last post, guys. I honestly didn't think I'd get such an outpouring of love. There's few things worse than being all vulnerable and needy and basically no one being there. I try not to wangst too often, but when I do, my LJ is the only place it can go. I'm sorry, I'll make up for it by being aggressively hilarious in other ways.

As for the rest of my day, I went to the pool and did treading water trials with Husband. We do treading water trials now because of my distressing propensity towards head trauma when I'm at the pool, and I've been concussion-free for like a month now!

When we started we did 3-4-5 minutes, and today we did 4-6-8 minutes. I very nearly died at the end of the last eight minutes, but it's all good now. Perversely, leg pain is okay if I brought it on myself? Maybe it's just another way to exercise some control over the situation. Man, though, can't wait to see the day we go 10-10-10.

And then we had lunch, during which the doctor's office phoned and gave me my appointment with the VGH EMG lab, where they will electrify me at a progressively more and more terrible voltage, and then perhaps take some blood for genetic testing. I am not scared of the electrocution; last time I went (a month ago) it was significantly less painful than the first time (seven years ago), which I mean is a good thing and a bad thing really, because it hurts normal people? :D

(And then the genetics results will come back and there will be a fun discussion about biological children vs. adoption; I am flexing all of my sarcastic muscles when I tell you I am looking forward to that!)

tl;dr: I CAN'T WALK STRAIGHT, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS WHOOOA WOE

And then the rest of the day was hanging out with friends and watching Battlestar Galactica. They're in season two.five and we're rewatching it with them. It's not much of a hardship, really, Starbuck/Apollo is my OTP.

this is what i look like today

  • Jan. 3rd, 2011 at 12:51 AM
neomeruru: (hate and love)
So today this shirt came in the mail:



Modeled by [livejournal.com profile] neomeruru for Blurry iPhone Camera Couture, 2010. Shirt by Teefury, so you can't get it anymore. Sorry. :(

Not pictured, and you are glad for it, is my parent's choice of bathroom decor: a cowboy kid in an olde timey tin bucket bath, soaping up his visible little boy parts. Seriously, I didn't notice it when I was a kid, but now it's right there while I pee.

in short: be a better person

  • Dec. 26th, 2010 at 1:22 AM
neomeruru: (hate and love)
New Year's Resolutions! This time, I'll do what [livejournal.com profile] hundun does and revisit these in a year and see how I did. I, uh, didn't do this last year, because I was busy ignoring my livejournal and only occasionally posting things I look back on now and find incredibly hilarious.

Anyway, on to the resolutions. They are all actually kind of connected, really.

1) If I want something to happen, I will make it happen. This includes travelling, learning new skills, practicing my current skills, being productive, whatever. I'm far past the time in my life when I can rely on other people to make my dreams come true, as corny as that sounds. I need to realize that the only person who will make these things happen is me.

2) I will keep up the ridiculously prolific artflow. I let myself get lazy and stop doing art. I like making art, I like expressing myself in pictures, and I love getting recognition for my art. I'd love to get a job doing concept illustrations. But I need to be better. I need to make art in order to be good at art, and I can't let myself slide back into artistic entropy because it's easier.

2b) I will start working on a 100 Themes-type challenge, likely this one on deviantART, specifically variation one. There's no timeline for this, I just want to embark on it.

3) I will become a more productive person, literally. This means I will derive less entertainment from consuming the creative efforts of other people (movies, music, video games, etc.), and more from my own efforts to amuse myself (crafting, art, exercise, learning new skills, etc.). Relying on consumption to bring pleasure anesthetizes the mind, making it more difficult to imagine yourself as a creative person. It also provides a false sense of accomplishment and contentment. Fandom is exempt from this, because overall the culture of fandom encourages active participation and creative collaboration/production.

4) I will continue to work on my physical endurance and strength. Because some awesome things in life are up an incline greater than 15°.

5) Obligatory money resolution: I will have at least 4k in savings by the end of the year. Yeah, shut up, I should have that now, but this year instead I paid off nearly 10k, so sucks to your ass-mar.

admit it, you're jealous

  • Dec. 17th, 2010 at 11:26 AM
neomeruru: (Default)
This is where I lived yesterday and fully intend to today as well, in the fabled bed-desk:



I don't actually sleep here. Well, sometimes I have. But not as a rule.

psychokinesis would be acceptable

  • Dec. 6th, 2010 at 1:30 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
Going to the neurologist in an hour, where they will electrocute me in an attempt to bring out my latent superpowers.

Not being able to feel my feet was a shitty superpower; I'm crossing my fingers for something awesome this time.
neomeruru: (Default)
In what is possibly the largest fail at Buy Nothing Day in the history of shoppingkind, today we bought out the remainder of the lease on our car.

Or does that mean we win at Black Friday?

Goodbye, money. I hardly knew ye.

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