not as advertised

  • Dec. 10th, 2011 at 11:01 PM
neomeruru: (west wing toby)
Things I have done since getting laser eye surgery two months ago:

- one rounds of steroids (+$10)
- one round of antibiotics (+$10)
- Refresh eyedrops (+$20)
- Systane eyedrops (+$50)
- temporarily plugged my puncta with biodegradable plugs (free because I complained)
- permanently plugged my puncta with silicone plugs (+$150)
- another round of weaker steroids (+$10)
- started taking omega-3 supplements (+$15)
- started drinking more water
- switched to preservative-free eye drops (+$20)
- started using an eye ointment at night (+$10)

Things I have not done since getting laser eye surgery two months ago:

- seen clearly

The big hoorah last night was that I could finally, if I squinted and kind of unfocussed my eyes, see the face in the moon!

Don't do it. Or at least, if you do, don't do it because you think it's easy.

the neuropathy news at nine

  • Jul. 17th, 2011 at 12:34 AM
neomeruru: (praise the lord)
BREAKING NEWS

I CAN WALK ON MY TOES

AND BALANCE ON ONE FOOT

THAT'S REALLY REALLY EXCITING

I LOVE YOU, ORTHOTICS

It's a weird, weird day when something outwardly small makes me so excited. And proud. Fuck balance, I will make it my bitch!

Jun. 16th, 2011

  • 2:23 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
Okay, so, one of the body-accepting things that people say is something along the lines of 'it doesn't matter what my body looks like, because it is strong and capable'.

Hngh. You'd think that because I got robbed of the 'strong and capable' part, I could at least get the consolation prize.

Ugh. Too much fast food recently, not enough... everything else. Time to get out and do some more walking. D:

trollface

  • May. 17th, 2011 at 11:21 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
How do I feel about my new orthotic inserts?



confidential to drunkface nonnie: I think you're just great, ilu2. <3

rehabilitation sucks

  • Apr. 23rd, 2011 at 10:19 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
These are my new buddies. On the scale of suckiness, they are somewhere between getting kicked in the box and getting kicked in the box repeatedly.



(How much can I squeeze them? I can't. It takes two hands. Fuck, this is going to take forever.)

a life update

  • Apr. 23rd, 2011 at 1:59 AM
neomeruru: (Default)
Looking at my journal page, it goes: art, art, art, commentary, rant, art, art, meta.

Well, I guess above all else, I have been crazy productive! I think it's my goal each month to do more art than the month before. I don't know if I can do it seeing as how I'm up to seven already for April and there's still eight more days to go, so who knows.

Life has basically been work and art, which is nice, even if it means I haven't been getting out much. On Wednesday I met up with an old friend of mine I hadn't really seen in a few years. He was quite instrumental in making me who I am today, in that he showed me that I already owned the tools I needed to work through my problems instead of just experiencing them. I really owe him a lot and I don't even think he knows how much, I'm still a little in awe of him really. Perhaps not awe, as that implies intimidation; more like, the feeling you get when you come in from the cold and someone's already warmed up the bed for you, and you slide in and it feels amazing because you've been on your feet for so long.

And he's probably reading this now, hello, because I haven't changed my livejournal name since those times and he's exactly the kind of person to remember these things. <3

my visit to orthopetics, cut for length and wah wah disability )

my feet are jerks

  • Feb. 25th, 2011 at 11:40 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
I made art about CMT, that wasting nerve disease I'm always on about. It displays my DEEPESTMOST FEELINGS and is THEMATICALLY AMBIGUOUS so people think I'm being deep and soulful.

Here's how it's going to work: it's a nude self-portrait of what I hate most about myself, and I'm going to post it and feel all vulnerable and stuff, and it's not going to get a lot of comments because it's neither Arthur nor Eames, and I'm going to secretly be crushed.

But I know that's going to happen, so I'm going to make my intro text really ironic, like this! So you can't really tell if I'm being serious about my Gimp Feelings. Am I? Who knows? But no one feels bad for reality not living up to the ideals! Everything sucks and no one can do a thing about it! Viva la postmodernité!



can you tie them in a knot )

some CMT stuff

  • Feb. 19th, 2011 at 3:59 PM
neomeruru: (more dots now)
The [livejournal.com profile] i_reversebang claims post is up, and claiming begins tomorrow at noon! I am seriously ridic excited for this; it's been all I could think about since finishing my BB art last week. Sometimes I feel like my art is instantly recognizable, and sometimes I feel like I'm still in that weird chameleon phase where it could go either way. Regardless, if you have joined the community you can see the post, and I wonder if you can tell which ones are mine. :)

I fell on the way to work again yesterday, and I buggered my hip again. So I'm sitting here with an icepack on my bum, getting ready to draw some gay steampunk porn for [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu. I know the due date is today, but, you know, I had a busy last few weeks, okay!

I also said I owed y'all a post about my neuro visit! )
neomeruru: (hate and love)
Okay guys, so tomorrow morning I am being electrocuted again, which totally sucks, but yeah we are being strong this time, yeah. Happy thoughts for me as my limbs do or do not jump around as is their wont, and blood is drawn, and The Future is talked about.

For fucking serious, these doctors literally have certificates in Pain. I shit you not. I will see if I can take a picture of it tomorrow.

In happier news, my waxer (who is a TOTAL DOLL, omg) has commissioned me to do a portrait for her! That's super exciting. So now my List of Things is 1) steampunk porn for [livejournal.com profile] bb_shousetsu 2) art trade for [livejournal.com profile] ladysisyphus 3) commission for the amazing Jane at Sugarbox 4) husband, who has challenged me to redraw something from, like, 2003

In a fit of I-do-not-want-to-draw-or-go-to-sleep, I backed up all my crappy drawings from my website and sorted them by year. The next step is that I want to register a domain name, but that is hard because I am terrible at these naming things. Words are not my strong point and, last I checked, you cannot doodle into the address bar. So. I have already been vetoed on dickpunch.ca, which is a total downer. Any suggestions, guys?

i am okay.

  • Jan. 10th, 2011 at 11:02 PM
neomeruru: (you should have seen me reading dunhill)
Thanks for all the support on that last post, guys. I honestly didn't think I'd get such an outpouring of love. There's few things worse than being all vulnerable and needy and basically no one being there. I try not to wangst too often, but when I do, my LJ is the only place it can go. I'm sorry, I'll make up for it by being aggressively hilarious in other ways.

As for the rest of my day, I went to the pool and did treading water trials with Husband. We do treading water trials now because of my distressing propensity towards head trauma when I'm at the pool, and I've been concussion-free for like a month now!

When we started we did 3-4-5 minutes, and today we did 4-6-8 minutes. I very nearly died at the end of the last eight minutes, but it's all good now. Perversely, leg pain is okay if I brought it on myself? Maybe it's just another way to exercise some control over the situation. Man, though, can't wait to see the day we go 10-10-10.

And then we had lunch, during which the doctor's office phoned and gave me my appointment with the VGH EMG lab, where they will electrify me at a progressively more and more terrible voltage, and then perhaps take some blood for genetic testing. I am not scared of the electrocution; last time I went (a month ago) it was significantly less painful than the first time (seven years ago), which I mean is a good thing and a bad thing really, because it hurts normal people? :D

(And then the genetics results will come back and there will be a fun discussion about biological children vs. adoption; I am flexing all of my sarcastic muscles when I tell you I am looking forward to that!)

tl;dr: I CAN'T WALK STRAIGHT, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS WHOOOA WOE

And then the rest of the day was hanging out with friends and watching Battlestar Galactica. They're in season two.five and we're rewatching it with them. It's not much of a hardship, really, Starbuck/Apollo is my OTP.

new icon is strangely fitting

  • Dec. 15th, 2010 at 10:26 PM
neomeruru: (the end is nigh)
Okay darlings, I am sick.

Fuck everything about being sick, man. Everything aches and I'm all slow and dimwitted and pliant.

Oh, right, the other day at the neurologist basically was like 'so, as for your hands... well... what was it you draw, again? Okay, well... you should definitely try to keep drawing as long as possible... you know, as long as possible..."

D:



I basically cannot even parse that information right now, so I'm going to write emo livejournal posts, take a piss, make some fucking pancakes, and go the fuck to bed before it all sets in.

Fuck everything about life in general, too.

P.S., I made a new thing, but who the hell cares? Why try, really.

psychokinesis would be acceptable

  • Dec. 6th, 2010 at 1:30 PM
neomeruru: (Default)
Going to the neurologist in an hour, where they will electrocute me in an attempt to bring out my latent superpowers.

Not being able to feel my feet was a shitty superpower; I'm crossing my fingers for something awesome this time.

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